Cry babies: A friend of mine blew his top, and threw things every time he bowled. He was scary. He cured himself of this by quitting bowling, forever. Now that may actually be an excellent solution. But instead, I have chosen to control my anger. I too experienced great anger while bowling and playing tennis. I saw other people harmed by their own anger (it was embarrassing to see), and vowed to control my anger. And I think it has helped, a great deal.
But, it does no good to keep the anger bottled up inside, either. I suppose some people do need to blow their tops now and then, just to release the anger and get back to normal. Perhaps a shout of exasperation, or a cry of "Heavens to Mergatroid" (how do you spell that?), or a talk to yourself will help. More extreme, and less acceptable methods may sometimes be necessary, like swearing or hitting the tennis ball into the net. This behavior sometimes is penalized; accept the penalty. Personally, I welcome seeing or hearing my opponent's bursts of temper, as I am now much more likely to win. It hurts my opponent's game, and it gives me more confidence. If it can be done, it is better to shake your head and say, "Oh well," than it is to blow your top. And it may save you the expense of paying for what you might break.
We get angry in sports for two main reasons: (1) we are angry with ourselves (or teammates) for not doing well, and (2) we feel cheated by circumstances. This second reason happens when we do everything right, and still fail, like the basketball rolled around the rim and didn't fall, or I threw a strike and a pin stood back up, or worse yet, my opponent cheated and got away with it. For your peace of mind, you must often just admit that this is all part of the game. All sports involves luck. And if you see every turn of bad luck as a personal tragedy, then you should change that attitude, or get out of the game. Whiners don't win (well, sometimes they do). I joke that winning in sports is 50% skill, 50% hard work, and 50% luck. As your teammates will tell you, "Shake it off." If your anger affects your performance, or is costing you penalties, then you must do something about it.
In the past, quite a few athletes hated their opponents. This was motivation. Nowadays they are usually very friendly. Even hockey players who were just trying to injure each other must shake hands at the end of the game (or series of games). This is inspirational. In bowling, teams were not friendly with other teams. Now they give the opponents high fives (maybe insincerely) after a strike. We can turn on the intensity when we step up to perform, and let it loose when we sit down. This is a good sign, for a number of reasons. In chess, I used to find that distractions destroyed my concentration; now I can get it back, and continue thinking and planning, right where I left off. There is a mental discipline, in games and sports, which allows us to perform well, without carrying it over into the rest of our lives, where it can be harmful.
Winning is everything? Well yes, to a great extent. But you should be able to back off and recover, or you won't win next time. Winning was everything, for a moment there, but now, "Good game, I'll beat you next time."
Whiners: Cry babies are whiners who lose control. It is not pleasant to watch, and it is damaging to their own performances.
I guess we all must whine a little. Clearly, if you have been cheated by a bad call, you should make your objection known: "You need glasses; that ball was in." You cannot let the opponent walk all over you and the referee. And even when it cannot help you, it is OK to complain about the fickleness of the gods. "Why me? That ball should have been a strike." You did everything right, and yet you got shafted. It's not right. But don't whine too much. Luck plays a large part in any sport, and that is part of the rules of the game. There are two strong reasons for not whining: (1) it is not pretty, and (2) whining shows that you don't really understand the odds of the game. You expect justice from the gods (bowling gods, tennis gods, whatever)? Then you are foolish.
In bowling, I throw a lot of pocket hits. How many are strikes? I would guess something over 50%. In other words, a great many of my pocket hits are not strikes. And yet, I see a lot of people who are absolutely stunned when their pocket hits are not strikes. Stunned. Hey, should have been a strike; whine a little. But, if you think that every good ball should be a strike, then you are living in a dream world, and you probably are not going to improve your game. A strong pocket hit may be a strike, or (more important) it is likely to be a near guarantee that you have an easy spare to shoot. And some day, you will string the strikes, and get a great score, probably not now, but some day. It is a game of percentages; a pocket hit increases your chance of a strike. It is like that in all other sports.
But, it does no good to keep the anger bottled up inside, either. I suppose some people do need to blow their tops now and then, just to release the anger and get back to normal. Perhaps a shout of exasperation, or a cry of "Heavens to Mergatroid" (how do you spell that?), or a talk to yourself will help. More extreme, and less acceptable methods may sometimes be necessary, like swearing or hitting the tennis ball into the net. This behavior sometimes is penalized; accept the penalty. Personally, I welcome seeing or hearing my opponent's bursts of temper, as I am now much more likely to win. It hurts my opponent's game, and it gives me more confidence. If it can be done, it is better to shake your head and say, "Oh well," than it is to blow your top. And it may save you the expense of paying for what you might break.
We get angry in sports for two main reasons: (1) we are angry with ourselves (or teammates) for not doing well, and (2) we feel cheated by circumstances. This second reason happens when we do everything right, and still fail, like the basketball rolled around the rim and didn't fall, or I threw a strike and a pin stood back up, or worse yet, my opponent cheated and got away with it. For your peace of mind, you must often just admit that this is all part of the game. All sports involves luck. And if you see every turn of bad luck as a personal tragedy, then you should change that attitude, or get out of the game. Whiners don't win (well, sometimes they do). I joke that winning in sports is 50% skill, 50% hard work, and 50% luck. As your teammates will tell you, "Shake it off." If your anger affects your performance, or is costing you penalties, then you must do something about it.
In the past, quite a few athletes hated their opponents. This was motivation. Nowadays they are usually very friendly. Even hockey players who were just trying to injure each other must shake hands at the end of the game (or series of games). This is inspirational. In bowling, teams were not friendly with other teams. Now they give the opponents high fives (maybe insincerely) after a strike. We can turn on the intensity when we step up to perform, and let it loose when we sit down. This is a good sign, for a number of reasons. In chess, I used to find that distractions destroyed my concentration; now I can get it back, and continue thinking and planning, right where I left off. There is a mental discipline, in games and sports, which allows us to perform well, without carrying it over into the rest of our lives, where it can be harmful.
Winning is everything? Well yes, to a great extent. But you should be able to back off and recover, or you won't win next time. Winning was everything, for a moment there, but now, "Good game, I'll beat you next time."
Whiners: Cry babies are whiners who lose control. It is not pleasant to watch, and it is damaging to their own performances.
I guess we all must whine a little. Clearly, if you have been cheated by a bad call, you should make your objection known: "You need glasses; that ball was in." You cannot let the opponent walk all over you and the referee. And even when it cannot help you, it is OK to complain about the fickleness of the gods. "Why me? That ball should have been a strike." You did everything right, and yet you got shafted. It's not right. But don't whine too much. Luck plays a large part in any sport, and that is part of the rules of the game. There are two strong reasons for not whining: (1) it is not pretty, and (2) whining shows that you don't really understand the odds of the game. You expect justice from the gods (bowling gods, tennis gods, whatever)? Then you are foolish.
In bowling, I throw a lot of pocket hits. How many are strikes? I would guess something over 50%. In other words, a great many of my pocket hits are not strikes. And yet, I see a lot of people who are absolutely stunned when their pocket hits are not strikes. Stunned. Hey, should have been a strike; whine a little. But, if you think that every good ball should be a strike, then you are living in a dream world, and you probably are not going to improve your game. A strong pocket hit may be a strike, or (more important) it is likely to be a near guarantee that you have an easy spare to shoot. And some day, you will string the strikes, and get a great score, probably not now, but some day. It is a game of percentages; a pocket hit increases your chance of a strike. It is like that in all other sports.
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